i'm ok

people .
i am fine .
it is onli rejection .
i have face the fact .
so stop asking or reminding miie .
i had enough .

anyway have to proceed for new targets .
if not ....
i will be lonely .
cos i dun wann d .
dun feel like he is a gd candidates for steadin .
and of cos committing .
like with him i have to cheat .
hahaas .
cant commit to him i think ?
anyway .
stalker ask miie to be his virtual gf .
so lame right ?
just to made his so called gf jealous .
wad i feel is like lame shit .
so i dun reali give a damn or wad .

but thinkin maybe i shld help .
i dunno .
and i am soooo troubled .
maybe stayin single is fine .
or maybe term break is coming and iif i dun have a stead .
it seems so wrong .
cos no one pei miie .
hahaas .
i mean except friends .
wad i wann ppl too acc miie .
is like stead kind .
a guy or a girl maybe .

i noe if i put girl .
and supeng read it .
she is like going to sae .
Oh my pls dun .
or smth like
wad the .

hahaas .
so people come jio miie ba .
hahaas .
i am super ok and fine .
and NOT attached .

anyway will post a video tmr .
so await .
i swear it is verii funny .

sick? or too tired ?

i dunnno if i am sick or wad .
but i am not feeling well .
den is like maybe too tired .
nvr rest or anything .
super tired .

my greatest fear

i shld sooo kill myself .
cos is like i am so stupiid and stubborn .
even though ppl think that i am brave and all .
but actually i just wann to get the things i wann .

but todae i face my biggest fear .
which is REJECTION .

my world greatest fear .
but it actually happen just now .
onli JUST NOW .
which is abt 13:30 or smth like tat .
ard there i think .
cos is like super super ps .
i totally blushed like mad .
and was in such a hurry to leave that i need to go get a cab .
and stupiidly there was none when you reali need one .
so i was talkin on the phone, complaining to zo .
and half waiting for taxi and half carryin my super heavy laptop .
almost dyin .
and was like super shag .

cos this is like the first and ever time .
like when i get a number from someone .
and that somone kinda like no matter directly or indirectly rejects miie .
i am sooooooo ps plus pissed plus sad and lots more other feeling mixed in it .
is like rmb i was askin abt d and e .

ya i reali hate this kind of rejection .
cos they cut off my choices and make miie with no other choices .
i am soooo super shag now .
i feel like banging my head to the wall .
like instanly disappear from the world .
no face to exist anymore .
sooooo super paiseh .

ok one gd thing that counted is .
my mask are finally here BUT .
it comes with a bad point too .
cos i need to go and like collect it from the post office .
and other bad thing i will be like going shopping with zizi .
den is like i will not be going over there .
and i have to like take it from bedok leii .
super lame right .
but overall i still get it .
so maybe will tell zizi i go take and den we go tampines .
cos she is going to get her nails done .
and i will be bringing her there .
den we will be going to tm or smth to buy i dunno wad .
den after that we will be going over to yy .
to return comics .
den she will be meeting with hazel or who ever her friend is .
den i will have to go home all on my own .
and more sad i dunno if i shld meet him or not .
wad to do .
this post is getting super long .
ok i noe it is like full of complain .
but wad to do i am now in a stage of shock and still feelin the impact .
just cant stop typin .
cos this is a way i can vent everything out .
and also letting my friends noe abt the result .

OK TAN SUPENG .
I NOE YOU ALREADIIE TOLD MIIE THAT THIS MIGHT HAPPEN .
BUT ....
IT DID HAPPEN .
I DONT BLAME YOU FOR THAT .
I BLAME MYSELF FOR NOT LISTENING .
SO YA .
I AM SORRIIE .

miie and decision makin

ok so i have to make a lot decision these few days .
which is kinda tiring .
i need to decide wad option to chose .
and i have decided to chose business solution .
think for quite some times le .
and tons of brain cells were killed during the process .
hahaas .
but i have make my decision .
my sexual preference .
i have decided to be a straight person .
cos i think i still like guys .
den nxt will be whether to commit to a relationship or not .
i have decided i wann to committ .
but ....
i haven decide to who .
i have two person in mind .
d and e .
hahaas .
i dunno e yet .
but hope to know him .
and .....
hopefully we can we together ?
hahaas .
i dunno la .
but i reali think he is super duper ultra cute .
ahahas .
but my friends think otherwise .
so i also dunno .
but no matter wad he is cute to miie .
so i dun care wad others think .
hahas .

i am so trouble with all these decision .
i sucks when trying to chose among things .
unless i reali noe wad is the thing i reali wann .
so now .
i have somethings cleared out of my ways .
and i have somethings still not so clear .
i am tryin to get them clear .
haiz .

can i commit?
i suspect .
but i wann to give it a try .
i believe tat i can .

MANPUKU - heart to heart

had a heart to heart talk with HB .
reali think it is nice
but now .
everything seem weird between us .
is like i dunno why .
but i just feel like so .
i dun wish .
but i dun think i shld sae tat .
but since you alreadiie made that choice den wad else can i do ?
i dunno .
you tell miie ba .

hair extension !

i finally got my hair extended .
happy for miie ?
i will post pics of my super long and pretty hair soon .
second day of work .
super tiring .
and will be slping early ?
or maybe not .

oh at here i have to stead that .
i am quiting beef .
as in i will not consume any beef from now onwards .
due to a vow made by miie .
ya .
so ppl stop tempting miie to consume them .
thanks so much .

going off to work .

i start work todae .
woohoo !
gonna get pay like the week after or smth like tat .
maybe will have about 60 dollars or so .
getting ready now .
so ya .
byebye

work+studies = tiring

todae is a super tiring day .
and by meaning of todae is 22/05 .
now is 1.15 am
so my post will be on the 23/05 .
so ya .
and watch star trek with peng .
never in my life i have watch this type of movie in a cinema .
cos i think it is just some lame killing .
but out of expectation .
the show was amazing .
wad i learn in jap
sugoi ne !
lol .
but yupx .
and becos of that i was late for work ,
todae starting of work i think i suck .
but i met a few verii gd customer .
they trust miie .
and i did buffing and scrubbing .
and cleaning .
and pulling customer .
so ya .
todae was manageable .
and i believed i am not getting any pay for todae .
but gd news .
the manager told miie i can officially start work tmr .
WOOOHOOO~
meaning i will be working there officially le .
haiz .
but daddy dun wann to be working during weekdays .
he wann miie to focus on studies .
and i need to let my boss noe abt my exam ,
so i have to let her noe before hand .
must be a gd girl .

wish miie lucks ba .
i need to strive harder now .
but todae time passes slowly .
and i didnt consume anything todae .
except my suppper .
totally did not consume anything food .
since morning until my supper time .
the fflu is making miie crazy .

haiz .
sianz ar .

desicion making makes my head pain

ok so we are suppose to chose for programming or networking .
so i still dunno .
cos i realise i suck at both .
den now how ?
so now all i can do is let fate decide for miie .
will be asking advice from Dr Eng .
and see if he can give miie any suggestion or wad .
ok .
so todae talk to Mr mark and Mr martin about it .
and they both think i shld go for programming .
sooooo .
haiz .
i shall see ba .
realise smth todae .
and is like super shock of cos .
but tryin not to think about it .
cos i seriously got no time and strength to think about it le .

and i am super sick now .
rushing through my jap thing .
and i super tired now .
den tmr still need go work .
how sad is that man .

sianz ar .
den now ordering masks .
sianz ar .

recently inlove with a font called the Book Antiqua
it is a reali cute and nice font .

pls do not fall apart

i reali dunno wad i can do for this family le .
will it break into pieces ?
this a no longer have an answer .
lets see .
how old am i this yr ?
ok i will be 18 after my birthday .
so my parents as been married like 20 yrs le ?
den before they married they know each other like for 7 yrs .
so is like 27 yrs of relationship le leii .
why must they like tat .

i reali feel verii hopeless .
i dun wish to be like the who .
i dun wann to have a broken family .
i dun wann both my parents to separate .
why must menopause be so irritating .
i dunno if it is .
but i think mummy is going through menopause .

wad can i do ?
ok from now on i am going to stay at home mostly .
try not to go out too often .
try to company all the time .
hopes things can be better .
i pray and pray i hope my family doesnt fall apart .

cute guy do not live in S'pore

i saw this guy pic at somewhr .
and thought of sharing .
isnt he cute .
but he lives in some verii far places from us .

and one things i realise .
good looking guys DO NOT live in singapore .
LOL .
no offences though .

being single seems to be a gd thing ?
i'm not so sure about tat .
being singel for too long le .
feel like i am rotting or something like tat .
haiz .
reali need a stead now .

my life is soooo boring .
watashi mo sabishii ne .

traffic light sisters .

todae after sch went for interview at bugis .
den is like i think i might get the job .
there is this probation period of two days .
which is this fri and sat .
so ya .
den after that i bought lots of things todae .
i bought a transparent tote bag(black) my so called dreame-d bag .
a pair of earrings and a lip balm .
the biggest reward is a PHONE NUMBER .
hahaas .
got a guys number todae .
and his name is ...v.. .
nvr type out to keep him a secret .
hahaas .
ok so from now on i will name him as mr. v
and he gave miie peng and zo a nick .
which is the traffic light sisters .
hahaas .
look at the pics below and you will know .
a picture speaks a thousand word .
so look at our craziness todae ba .

HB clique

in HB there is 4 girls namely
Carol(rolrol), Supeng(pengpeng), Zoelyn(zozo) and miie
ok so now
Carol
she is a verii cute and naive girl.
clumsy at times and suspect to have a flat foot .
like to daydream at every single thing and times .
i love to suan her .
cos she is the one tat is alwaes getting bullied by HB .
lol .
she is sometimes tooo caring .
she cares alot for friends .
but sometimes too much .
lol .
not a bad thing though .
and sometimes the things she sae pissed miie
or make miie dun feel like answering her .
cos either too lame or too stupiid .

Supeng
she is a smart and friendsly girl .
being friendly is a nature .
but after knowing her you will knwo she is also evil .
and she is gifted pure evil .
she and zozo love to pick on each other .
she loves to read novels like miie .
if you wann to read a gd book .
she can introduce you one .
but she is a action kia .
loves to be action and saying zozo action .
lol .
both are action kia .
she is one person who do not deserve a phone and msn account .
cos .....
she can dun answer yr call after a few missed call .
and she can reply you 1 hr or more ltr on msn .
so wad is the point for her to have all those ?
PISSED !

Zoelyn
she is a quiet and mysterious girl .
she rarely talks but she sure is a gd listener .
if you need to get all yr things out to someone .
you can talk to her.
she can keeps yr deepest darkest secret .
i can guarantee you she can do safekeeping .
she herself has tons of secret within her .
so if you wann to know her dig more and dig down .
lol .
she is our main reason that we realise that all 4 of us know our common thing .
that is the initials of HB de H.
we know right .
hahaas .

so i love them .
i hope they love miie too .
hahaas .
they are verii gd friends to have in this life time .
hopes to be sisters in future .
and reali reali reali pray and hope to keep in touch in future .

finally "P" came to visit .

ok .
so i am happy and sad now .
i noe the cause of the recent mood swing .
and feeling down and etc feelings .
they are all known as PMS .
yes .
it is Premenstrual Syndrome
and these are the symptoms.
the three most prominent symptoms are
irritability, tension, and dysphoria (unhappiness).
It may vary for different people .
Most girls with premenstrual syndrome experience only a few of the problems.

these are the other symptoms.
Abdominal bloating
Abdominal cramps
Breast tenderness or swelling
Stress or anxiety
Trouble falling asleep (insomnia)
Joint or muscle pain
Headache
Fatigue
Acne
Mood swings
Worsening of existing skin disorders, and respiratory (eg, allergies, infection)
or eye (bulbar disturbances, conjunctivitis) problems

see .
so pls do forgive miie if i offended you these few days .
it is the some days of every months .
i hope and pray to have more regular P .
cos it is making my body suffer .
and by regular i mean monthly .
not a few months once .
even though it is troublesome to have P coming .
but when P come it means i am healthy as bad blood is flowing out .
so i wish P can visit miie regularly .
i wann to be a healthy baby .
i mean person .
oopps .

ok aniwae tons of things to talk about .
since i cant slp .
must well just post them .
so ytd wasnt a big deal .
cook a home-cook meal .
and todae godmummy came back from KL .
and bought tons of clothes, bags, shoes and food .
so i got tons of clothes and shoes .
now i got enough clothes to do a fashion show or something like tat .
but .....
quite a few pieces are quite revealing .
and of cos i will try not to wear those to sch .
cos ....
it might be a bit ..... you know .

ok den these few days .
just keep having all these weird weird de feelings .
is like when i wake up .
i cant reali rmb my dreams .
but in my dreams there is this guy .
cant reali rmb how he look like .
he seem to be my lover ?
but i dunno why i think i have been crying in the dreams .
cos whenever i wake up .
i just feel so down and sad .
not just the normal morning sickness .
cos i onli have those morning sickness when people wakes miie up .
but these time is a different situation .
i wake up all by myself .
but i feel rather sad and have the urge in bursting into tears .
so wad am i suffering from ?
or is it PMS tat is causing all these probs ?
who will ever know .

ok this post is getting a bit too long le .
goona end it with .
i will be going for the interview and will psot if i get the job or not .
so yupx .
gonna try to catch some slp .
good night
OYASUMINASAI.

L Word makes miie cry

ok i was suppose to post pics and all .
but i have to just say .
i just watch finish the L Word .
yes people all six seasons .
and at the last episode i cried like shit .
but .....
i reali think it is verii sad .
for a person to lead a life like Jenny's .
but i dun hate her .
i pity her .
i reali do .
i think she did wad she thinks is right .
but she did not think of the consequences of it .

ok and i have a new eye candy that is .
lots of pics and videos to be posted .

School is bothering miie

ok so todae morning i skip WWNK Lab .
i noe i shldnt .
but i just dun feel like going to sch .
and sch is starting to feel so bothering to miie .
and is so troublesome .
is like i love the craziness of HB .
BUT!!! .
i hate school .
i dunno why .
thinking if i hadnt study i wouldnt feel this way .
so weird .
everyday just feel like staying at home .
this is sooooooo not miie .
i have been feeling extremely lazy in everything i do .
this is insanity .
it is going to cost my future and life .
this is going out of my hand .
i need to get a hold of myself .
or i will jsut go back to the previous miie .
with all the smokes, drinks and dgs .
so is like i dun wann .
cos this is stupiid and i noe it .
but this is no longer a choice to miie .
sooner or later it is going to be a will to go on .
i just hope to hang out as long as possible .
long enough for miie to find the will to start to feel like studyin .
AGAIN !
i reali need to get the hang of miie .

sick with stomache flu or food poisoning

ok so ytd we went to eat daidomon .
but now .....
i am resting at home .
becos i am sick .
having sharp pain in my tummy .
went to see doctor .
and doctor sae it might or might not be food poisoning .
so .....
will see how .
den when i feeling better den i will post pics and more .

mother day celebration

now going over to united square to celebrate mother day .
gonna bring mummy go eat daidomo buffect .
hahaas .
and after tat will post the review on the food there .
of cos and the price and etc .
gonna take tons of pics .
so going to eat le .
byebye

tiff with mummy

to my peeps and darlins tat care for miie .
I AM FINE now ...
cos i had a fight with mummy .
and you all cared soo much for miie .
reali thanks a lot .
and everything is ok now .

so dun worry for miie le .
now updating the music player on my blog .
love the songs tat BOA sing in english ,
totally in love in these songs now .
so ya .
enjoy them ba .
will upload pics soon .

tons of tears has been shed ytd .
3 buckets full to be exact .
and now i am kinda dry up .
but thanks to
cyndi, nicky, amber, zoelyn, supeng, carol, meixin, roy, kelvin, les .
and a few others .

forgotten post

ok so i was suppose to post smth about ytd .
but !
i nvr .
cos i reach home damn late and tired .
so now right i am in DSAG lab .
so i decide to post one first .
den i will go home and try to upload pics in my blog .
but first have to transfer to my com .
and etc etc .
gonna skip lec again .
I KNOW I SUCK .
but too bad .
cos too lazy .
i am 100% broke now .
broke like SHIT !
wann to go home and slp .
den watch shows .
den slp again .
den tmr got morning CDS tut .
SIANZ AR !

due-d pics .

got the mood to post due-d pics .
so ya .
attempted to take pics of myself with a help of my dearest rol .
actually she is not tat good with camera .
but she try for miie .
i am soooo happy .
lol .
so attempts .

this pic below is suppose to be like not a part of it .
but i think i look like zhen zi .
dont you think .
and looks like i am going to crawl out soon .
if you stare at it that is .
and long enough .
hahaas .

ok so stop staring .
other attempts i noe i look stupiid .
just craziness among us .
hahaas .



ok den pics i took at home .
a bit boring i suppose .
lol .
super emo .
lol .
recently cant find the happy smile i used to had .
i wonder why .



ok so embrace yrself .
the step photos .
actually there are more .
but .....
too shy to post .
lol .
no cos they are just plain ugly .
hahaas .

i need colors in my life

getting bored of school and life .
nothin exciting has been happening .
clubbing seem to be liek crap to miie le .
but at this age of mine i shld be enjoying clubbing .
but now all seem like crap .
gave up in liking him .
and is like i new new target .
CUTE TARGETS !
i wann to be in love .
i wann to be a flirter .
i wann to be an asshole .
i wann to be hurt and wad so ever shit .
cos my life now is black and white .
i need some colors in my life .
boring black and white has to go .
if not i will die of boredom .
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
shit shit shit !

will post pics tat ppl sae i step one model de pic .
so ya .
will upload pics soon .
i hope if i feel like that is .
hahahahahahaha .

Bored !

haiz .
so how the photo shoot ?
i seriously am afraid in going .
this is like a phobia ?
i dunno .
maybe .....
i shld just give up ?
anyway there will be chances in the future right ?
so ya .
plus i am ultra fat now .
so i dun wann go do it now .
maybe in future ba .