Friday, December 12, 2014

1 mth 2 days = 5~6 kg

So... It's been one month...

I have been doing this no carb diet for almost a month...

And it's great actually... 
I have officially lost 5kg and going 6 this coming weekend...

Do not know if the weight will still drop. 
But just a heads up...
I have not been exercising cause I wann to make sure the diet is working.. 

So now that I know.. 
I might start my workout only next year ? 
Or maybe til the point my diet does not allow any further weight drop... 

Have been adding on more things to enhance the slimming...
And now I'm trying out a new product..

If it helps then I will be more then happy... 
Will share and if you wan to buy it is only at your own risk... 

"Confidence comes from you and not the words others say to you"


 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

9 day is -1KG

So the diet I am doing have made me lose 1 kg already. 

With no exercise plus I was having menses... 

So I will carry on til end of year... 
If successful... I will pass on the diet... 

This diet require no special ingredient but it require 200% determination to lose weight. 
And also the self control to not give into temptation and also cravings... 

I am going through the phase whereby I am so sick of the things I am eating and wants to eat like salmon and pig trotter vinegar... 

But all these are big NO NO . 

So I have been enduring and resisting my own cravings.... 

So I will start exercising about every two days once from today or tmr... 

This is to increase my body's immune system . 
Given on different body type and etc . 

It is also advisable for you to rest your muscle after exercising . 
This is to let them recover if you are like me. 
People who NEVER exercise 

So..... 
I'll keep you people updated on my progress 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Day two of dieting

Today progress into day 2 for my diet... 

No carbs just proteins, fiber and other vitamins. 
Hopefully I can slim down as I wan to... 

If successful I will update on the recipes and what I eat and what exercise I did 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

7th day

Today marks the 1 week lo~ 
Everything seems to be back to normal... 
But I still dk if this mean we are back to normal...

I'm still hanging...


Thursday, October 16, 2014

Day 1

Smth was just different...
The way we text each other... 
It's different... 

I want to treat it as last night never happen... 
But...
Smth just feel weird there... 
The one word replies... 

I hope this work out... 
I can't face the fact if it doesn't 
To big a tear in my heart... 


1 week

I fear...
I have always been like this...

Fear of losing people I love... 
I have already lost so much in such a short time..

I have so much I want to say...
But dk where to start...

This 1 week is so critical...

No one knows what the future holds 

Monday, October 13, 2014

Persevere

A whole new environment for me to adapt...
Once again the route is not easy but I hope this one will be a long one~ 

I need to at least make an effort to try.. 
Can no longer think I'm young and there is still time... 

Relationship....
If it can work, it will work...
Whatever meant to be will be... 

I'll let nature take it's own course... 

Thursday, October 2, 2014

委屈

我经历的没人了解。
但是每次都是这样。

我真的累了。
不想管那么多了。

Saturday, September 27, 2014

It never the end...

It's just a new beginning... 

I plan to go through things slowly, 
It feels like I have been push down to express lane to do it ASAP...

Maybe I dun deserve anything that I wann... 
But still time will heal time will tell... 

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Strive harder than I use to...

This time no more just words and no action ! 

I always procrastinate or else I will give excuses... 
Diet and give up if I dun see any result... 
But now it's different..
I will go on strict diet and also regular exercise. 

No more procrastinating...
I won't cut alcohol even though it's fat... 
But I will definitely cut down all unhealthy food... 

I believe I can achieve what I wann and need ! 

I know I can
I will do it 
Motivation  !!! 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Timing is so wrong

In the beginning there was me... 
Then I met you... 
It seems sad to see you having low self esteem...
So I decided to cheer you up and care for you.

But you always enjoy to irritate and annoy me... 
Then you confess and ask me to be tgt... 
I can never forget the methods you used and how many times you asked...
In the end I gave in and we began... 

After about 1 month? 
The relationship went downhill rapidly... 
And you broke my heart and we ended...

But I couldn't bare being without you, so I stayed by you while you figure out...

But as time pass, I had my problems...
We drifted and eventually someone else turn up...

This time round I broke your heart...

You waited and was there for me...
But I push you away...
Asking, begging you to look for someone else better...

Now you did...
I felt a tear in my heart...
I think it broke again...

Cause I realize I still love you... 
But it's too late.. 
Because no matter how hard I try...
I know your devotion will be with her... 

I lost my stand and my fighting chance... 
So I'm only left with wait... 

Friday, September 19, 2014

Emo takes over

So many things on my mind... 
Haiz...

I took out my phone to type this out... 
But right now... 
I'm staring blank at this page... 

I'm a girl... That has difficulty in choosing... 
When given an option, I just can't make a decision... 
So now... 
I would say... It's my own fault... 

As I have been told
"If it's meant to be, it will be"

So now... 
I will face all that comes to me... 
Because I want all the best for everyone I love ! 

"哭吧要哭就尽情的哭, 但是哭完了就重新再来" 



Thursday, August 28, 2014

可怜吗?

爱是给我们人生喜怒哀乐和酸甜苦辣的

不用多说。

就看着瓣吧。 

看你在乎吗

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Ok... Love you...

You keep leading me on to think that do you love me at all ? 

I am just so speechless towards your words and action...

You said communication is the key...
But where is the communication ?
You can leave me no choice by ending the convo with ok... Love you...

Do you even mean it when you say it or type it ? 
Or you just type it for the sake of typing ? 

Because I sense no love no effort with communicating... 
I'm starting to grow doubtful of us...

Your attitude and words and actions has lead me to this stage where I will find myself questioning if there is any love for me ? 

Is there any ? 
I would really really love to know the answer to that... 

How long can this goes on ? 
Will we be able to resolve it ? 
My heart aches........

Wishing I have someone I can turn to..
And I realize I have no one else... 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Do u care enough ?

Do u care for me because I'm your gf or because u love me ? 

I can take care of you 24/7 by your side when u are sick.... 
But when I'm sick there is no sense of urgency from you.... 
U know I need to eat medicine for dinner... 
And now it's 8pm and you are no where to be seen...

U end work at 0530.... 
Wait for the uncle to fetch u home and reach home maybe 6 or 0630... 
Given 0630 you say need to bathe... 
Give u til 7.... 
And if you were to leave house at 7 and come find me I should have already be in  the midst of my dinner... 
But now I call u... 
U say u still home and wann to rest awhile.... 

I am totally speechless and upset and disappointed in you.... 

If like that must well dun come....  
Why make the effort if you dun really have the urgency and heart to do it for me.... 

Time over time.... 
I see and sense no urgency from u when it comes to us.... 
Do u really love me.... 
U make me doubt myself over and over again... 

First is trust issue 
And now this.... 
Do u care and make the effort to come because you love me or because I'm your gf....

I'm very very disappointed.... 

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Human being are so fragile

We human are so fragile... 
Being said that, it's sad knowing that we can lose anyone at anytime... 

A broken heart can heal with time... 
That is the saying..
Or at least I think it's somewhat around that line...

Going through what I have... 
I learnt to grow and mature... 
But deep down, I know I would still love to be a childish person...

Seeing ah gong lying on his hospital bed, trembling at the cold and fighting the pain he feel....
Breaks my heart, knowing that all we can do is see him in this state and there is nothing we can do to help....


Friday, July 11, 2014

New environment, new perspective

I really missing working with friends... 
Esp the crazy girls from C&C . 
If not because of the obvious reasons we would still be happily working, drinking, shopping tgt. 

Now it's just the occasional meetup.. 
Oh well but I'm satisfied... 

Now I'm happy at my workplace though it's just third day... 
Everything is okay except the manager too touchy ah ! 

Looks potentially well for now.. 
I think I might stay til next year or more . Stable income... 
Like a finally... 
Hahaha . 

I going to be rich girl again ! 
Song bo... 
Finally without people around me that would suck my money... 

Going back to work lo... 
Staying happy and keeping good perspective 

Thursday, July 3, 2014

yet again

haiz....
i first time dun feel stress about leaving...
but its the trouble for money....

I think it is kind of predicted...
Cause i have the thought since last week...
just that have yet to act on it...

Now just this little problem...
once resolved we move on with life again..

Friday, June 27, 2014

looking at things with a different perspective

i have been blogging more and more often recently....
irregardless of what the reasons...

but now i am just back...
have so many things to set straight....

I should never be saying i want to be like the old me...
i should have always say i want the brand new me to be better....

Cause everything is better and will be better the next day....

so now i have set my attitude at work straight and next is to work on my relationship...
Next will be my physical appearance....

I realise just by going to gym doesnt meant that i can slim down...
It only meant to help with toning with my body shape and transforming fats into muscle...

So now i will start to get my appetite smaller, eat lesser and healthier...
Slimming down with one last strive....

Tried the super depress and not eat....
doesnt work...
so now live everyday happily i will...

after getting my pay and paying off my debts and bills...
then i will be more wealthy...
still saving up is important but eating healthier will be important too....

SLIM DOWN IS THE MAJOR TARGET !!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Days that pass so slowly

today is the 4th day not seeing you~
or i should say not having you by my side...

a small period of time to separate ourself from each other..
though not willingly but mandatory....

i would say...
this time given is a torture for me...
a time for me to think but also a time for me to think too much...

haha....
thousand of thoughts flow through my mind and i haven been sleeping well...

always falling asleep at while watching shows til late night...
physically tired but the mind just refuses to rest...
so this is how i have been falling asleep for the past few days...

but on this 4th day...
i stop checking if you were telling the truth or lying to me ...
i told myself if i cant bring myself to trust you....
then it would have meant i stop trying to make "US" work.

i am not ready to give up on this relationship yet...
til the day my heart is really broken to the extend of no turning then i'll give up...

so please note that i am still as fragile as the point of time you knew me...
i put myself out there willingly giving you my heart...
trusting that you will safe keep it and let no harm comes to it...


Trust is the key factor of the r/s ?

When being tgt...
Trust is so important but what if this trust is being put on trial ? 

I have been thinking... 
Can I trust you still ? 
My answer is I want to trust you but... All odds are telling me not to... 
I guess you can say its a self protecting machinism in me ba... 

I dun wish to hurt.... 

I once read this article saying... 
Be with a guy who makes you smile and not a guy who makes you cry... 

I lost count on how many times I cried over this... 
I lost count of how often I can smile and laugh around you... 

When you told me you were no longer certain that I'm the one... 
My heart broke... 

If you are uncertain... 
Then shall we not waste each other's time ? 

Or is this why you are texting other girls 
Lying like you use to ? 
Telling then you're working but in fact just because you're with me ? 

Maybe I should act childishly and just wan you to announce to everyone I'm your gf ? 
So that can fan off unnecessary flirting attention ? 

I dk... 
But should we still be tgt ? 

Monday, June 23, 2014

Before and after

Somewhere... 
Somehow.. 

Either you change or I change... 
Or maybe we both did.... 

We use to talk about everything and anything.. 
Even when we disagree... 
You will put in that extra effort to explain or talk some sense into me... 

But what happen in between ?
What change ? 
Why do you no longer make this effort to talk things out anymore ? 
Why do you chose to remain quiet and afterwards treat like nothing happen ? 
How long more can we go on like this ? 

I use to love about us being able to talk things out... 
But now... 
It's no longer like that... 
Did I lose the thing to love about us? 


Sunday, June 22, 2014

Trust

I dk if I can trust you anymore... 
I chose to trust you... 
But seems like you rather lie to another girl why you are not texting her... 
Then admit you are lying... 

When confronted you wann to retaliate with it being my fault? 

I now start to wonder if we are suitable tgt.... 

I only wish if you wann to flirt around or dw to settle down with me... 
You can just tell me...

Since you can no longer feel that we can have a future tgt then why are we still tgt? 

I dun understand... 
I dunno what I am doing too... 


Trying

After times after times... 
I try my best now to trust you... 
And I try to give you my trust and leave no doubts .

But in return I received cold response... 
And sarcastic replies... 

Why are we even tgt if you wann to be like that .
Or you simply waiting for me to say I wann to breakup . 

You change so much that I dun know you anymore 

Tired

The tiredness I put myself through... 
I'm wondering if it's worth it anymore... 

What is the point of traveling all the way to meet you but you forget about our plans... 

It just seems like 不被重视
If so why make all these effort ? 

How long and how much more can I tolerate... 


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Long lost update

Ever since I left my previous job... 
I hadn't been working since . 
And it's been like one month plus and I am back to update this space... 

There are post that weren't publish... 
But those were words of anger and I didn't want to regret for posting it here . 

So it seem like I have yet to be blogging... 

Life has been okay to me... 
Now I'm a school administrator at tanglewood music school... 
An hour traveling from home...
Pros and cons I have so much to say
But I decided not to bore you guys with the details...

So there has been ups and downs with my bf... 
But we are trying to work things out by talking... 

Sometimes love is just weird.. 
It just works so differently from logic.. 


Slight update: 
My grandpa, the one whom I love but had drifted apart from, is closing to his end of the line le . 

Seeing him in his fragile stage weaken my heart and tear a bit of me away.. 

Preparing for the worst now...

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Caring too much

Maybe I should start reflecting on how much I care... 

I guess I was just caring too much about you . 
And I think I dun need to, since you clearly dun need me nagging at you . 

If you find the nagging irritating then from this day on I shall no longer nag at you . 

Because then I dun need to argue with you, or I dun need to get cold shoulders from you just because I care... 


I wanted to spent more time with you but it doesn't seems that way to you . 
Having to wake up so early everyday just to spent that extra hour with you . 
Sending you to work...
But to you I guess it's just annoying huh . 

Maybe I should meet you less... 
Give you time to go social media to find new girls to talk to . 
Let you open up your option huh . 



Thursday, May 22, 2014

...

It's just heart breaking to know that you are falling apart and no one is there to catch you and pick you up. 

I would rather not fall if I can . 
But to the least I would like to know if I'm falling apart someone will be there...
To catch me... To minimize the damage or hurt...

You words are just like blazing darts... 
That is hitting on the bull-eyes of my hearts . 

I told myself... 
Say it out and hear the cold hard truth... 
Even if I get hurt it's still the truth... 


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Use to...

Happiness use to come in whatever we do even if we're apart....

But now smth have change...
I felt it... 
Dk if you felt it... 

Wonder if you still wann this or not ? 

Friday, May 2, 2014

Overweight is the BIG issue !

I'm so pissed with myself for becoming fatter and fatter . 

Even with all the talk about slimming and the actions taken on diet pills and correction meals ! 

I'm just a lazy bum ! 
Craziness~ 

I think the real best way to slim is really through sweating and exercising and really not being lazy ! 

One most important fact is to not over eat or eat too much good food on a daily basis . 

I practically need I detox my body :( 
I am not super overweight and I hate it ! 

Monday, March 24, 2014

pms

I blame all my emotional outburst on my pms.

Been feeling this way for quite some times.
it is when you think you have everything and you look upon your life and realise that is not the case .

i can just live feeling contented to have families and my loved ones around me .
but without friends....
i just cant help but feels that smth is missing .

the worst part about me is....
i always hate to take the initiative because people takes it for granted .
and the second reason being i am afraid of left hanging there or rejected .

That somehow concluded how and why i feel the way i feel .
but surprisingly, people whom i thought would least be bothered about how i feel, cared .
Those whom i think should at least care, DIDNT .
haha ?

I am grateful to those who care about me .

Monday, March 17, 2014

Bad temper me :(

Hello~
recently i have been really bad tempered with everyone around me .
and i know its annoying, but i will try my best .

Le boy taught me to find smth to calm myself down .
and guess what .
i found it .
cute baby pictures or videos and a full yiruma playlist .

Le boy also say to find smth; a picture to keep in mind and to help calm down .
this is what i found~
s

A sunset under a red leaves maple tree~

Monday, March 10, 2014

I'm too blessed with good food

So ever since i got attached i have been getting fatter and fatter everyday .
that is no way I'm just going to let it happen
I will do smth about it .

sadly first off is to cut down on the amount of good food i am consuming .
even though it will be a pity but it will be worth it .

so in order to slim down...
i have decided to start on cutting down the amount of food i intake everyday .
and also what i eat .
In addition to drinking tons of plain water .
Also i just purchase smth off the internet that say to guarantee weight loss in 1 month .
so hopefully it will work .
*cross my fingers*

and of course i would say exercise but who am i trying to lie to .
ME ?
VANESSA LEE QIAN HUI exercising ?
oh come on .
dun pull my leg .
HAHAAHAHAHHA

Yeah so i am not going to exercise but maybe the regular sit up before bed .
that is what i use to do to keep my tummy flat and intact .
but since now that it is a ball of fats i would have to do it .
I am definitely thinking about doing the blogilates video...
but the time commitment....
i would always prefer to sleep it off .

So to end this post off .
Pictures of the awesome food i have consume











Thursday, March 6, 2014

life moves on, it gets better

Hello Hello !!!
so read my own blog and realise smth...

It all about ranting...
And saying to be positive etc etc
but its seems like positive never happen at all...
Joke ?

Lying to myself lo~
as usual everyone finds an excuse for themselves including me .
I am strong headed when it comes to things...
but when i'm told i'm wrong...
I learn from it.

After trying and trying....
I got tired and only at the point of giving up did i find relief for myself .


I guess its only true for me to leave behind the past and move on...
cause in order for myself to be happy...
ITS SO SIMPLE .

Just simply let go all the things that holds me down and enjoy what i have now .
Enjoy what infront of me and stop looking behind me .

A note and advice to all my friends, sisters, stalkers and readers:
When things dont go the way you want it to,
dun get upset and grief over it .
Instead try stop making it go your way, go along with the flow .
try to let go of that ego, pride and stop being so head strong .
Things might just turns out better than expected .

I love you guys ^^


Monday, March 3, 2014

Insecure

Dunno what got into me... 
But a sudden surge of insecurities hit me 
I sudden felt that maybe my this relationship won't last . 

The fear of wasting my time on a relationship that can't see if there is a future . 
These insecurities are slowly occupying my mind .
Just like same to working...
I guess I should see what it comes to as of one year later . 



Monday, February 24, 2014

bad luck at workplace

It's either I'm jinx or me and this place doesn't get along...

I have been really bad luck at this new work place.
all kinds of work hazard happening .

First my fingers got cut when doing work...
Today i realise i lost my new blazer...
Secondly i just got a bump on the head by the rollings shutters .

What else will come .
Not so anticipating...
i see the need to go pray and get all this bad luck away from me .


Monday, February 17, 2014

Sex in the City

A secret i failed to mention....
i watched the movies again....
Part 1 and 2...

Heartfelt feelings and thoughts about the things...
Every relationship has its own problem .
and it takes two to resolve and come to an understanding...

I'm glad i found who i have now...
Cause you would take the effort to talk things out unlike others...
you take the initiative to resolve it .

I love u...
try to bare with me of all these insecurities...
i wann to feel secure too and will try my best .
despite feeling the love u have was just not enough...
insecurities are born within me .

EVER THINE, EVER MINE, EVER OURS

Thursday, February 13, 2014

处女座 8月23-9月22日

吵架时,处女女爱说狠话。
当她转身走后,她多么希望你能追上来紧紧抱住她,
哪怕说一句:不要走,我需要你。都有可能让她回头。
若你放她走,那她所说的狠话都有可能成真,处女女看似坚强其实很脆弱。

没有安全感没有方向却有目标知道自己喜欢什么不喜欢什么。
周末喜欢一个人宅在家喜欢宁静的生活
但这种宁静的生活又令自己想太多精神上折磨自己自虐狂。
也许生活中没有对错只是信仰不同
你甚至会问自己非要无止境地折磨自己吗纠结完之后纠结这就是处女座。
你愿意去爱这个处女座吗?
女座无论对亲情友情爱情也有很大的触动,
特别是在离别的时候,尽管他不肯用言语去表达自己的内心,
但是他的心里却是非常的不舍,眼泪也在心里不断地流。
他对你好,就绝不会绝情,因为他在乎你这个人不舍得你走。
嗯,这就是处女座,口是心非的处女座
【处女座爱情上的优点】
顽皮、友好、自然有灵性、接纳、体贴、投入、不拘泥、体谅、容忍、慈善。
【处女座爱情上的缺点】
古怪、有些不可靠、自我中心、冷酷、冷淡、很难承诺、反复权衡、变化无常。
【处女喜欢的】
浪漫的感觉、被欣赏、稳定、被需要、被一种神秘力量所笼罩、被别人鼓励自己的梦。
处女座们总是给自己希望;处女座的人总是爱逞强;
处女座的人总是不相信所谓命运;
处女座的人总是遇强愈强;
处女座的人总是成全别人却废了自己;
处女座的人总是被占有欲特强;
处女座的人总是不轻言放弃;
处女座的人总是替别人找借口安慰自己;
处女座的人总在爱情面前丢掉了尊严。
【处女座什么都比别人多一点】
多情、多心、多疑、多变、多嘴、多问、多骂、多理、多爱、多恶、多事、多深、多算、多恨、多念、多念、多真、多喝、多苦、多忙、多怕、多愁、多猜、多梦、多虑什么都比别人多一点。因为太神经质,太敏感,太左思右想,因此不能享受真正的轻松。
处女座不喜欢激烈的东西,觉得危险不可靠。
喜欢营造自己的生活圈,在固定的时间见固定的人,去固定的饭馆,吃固定的饭菜。
不相信一见钟情,太过热情的男生,只远观。很慢热,耐得住寂寞,
对待感情绝对宁缺毋滥。玩得起暗恋,也经得起暗恋的折磨。
概括之:自然、安稳、纯粹、实在
处女座在生气的时候会说出很难听的话去伤害对方以维护自己所谓的面子,
等到冷静下来回想自己的行为和语言时,常懊恼不已。
处女总在伤害总在反思总在后悔。处女的心不是坏的,
但总在最后是弄巧成拙。请原谅这样的处女
很多人都不看好处女座,认为他们霸道、个人主义、占有欲极强……等等一切。
但是,处处们其实并非所想的那样“理所当然”。
我有占有欲,但我很隐忍;我们有能力领导、统一,
及保护我们爱的人,爱生活爱家人爱朋友,对于所爱的人,我们可以通过牺牲来换取他们的笑脸。我想说,这一切是很伟大的。
处女座是一个要求完美的星座,
那么在爱情上也是这样的,他们决不允许自己离婚,
虽然有的时候感觉两个人时间久了,
没有了激情,但是他们知道自己是无法离开另一半的,
而且他们也决不允许离婚一词出现在自己人生的字典里面,
所以知道自己不能放弃,那么不如努力的让自己和另一半快乐起来,这样才会幸福
处女女是没有安全感的孩子,爱音乐,非常爱,怕黑,却习惯晚睡,
喜欢隐藏真正的心事,喜欢有口袋的衣服,否则会不知道手放在哪里,
习惯抱臂,习惯冷战,有时会突然不知所措,
喜欢窗户,喜欢蜷缩,喜欢写字和阅读,有时会莫名的孤单,
处女座总是有很多想法,总是追求最好,总是很心软,总是为别人着想,
总是在做错事时先责怪自己,恋爱中的处处总是认为做什么都不对,
总是想把最好的留给对方。处处很善良,没有真正的仇人,
别人对他的伤害总是很快忘记并宽容对方,处处还是个固执的偏执狂
处女座追求井井有条,不停将问题抽丝剥茧,所以容易神经质和强迫症。
总觉得自己达不到最佳状态自然伤不起,悲观的处女座是最孤独的。
孤独因为对完美的苛求和不能达到理想的痛苦,
想要做得更好,结果总是欠一点,於是只能悲观地孤独下去。
完美之下斯人独憔悴

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Predictable // Positive thinking

Have you ever met someone that is so predictable ??

I did... 
But i prefer to be ignorant around this type of people...

Wanted to rant non-stop about this issue .
but as predictable as it seem, i will not talk about it .

It is only right to be positive and focus on myself now .
The secret to happiness is none other then being positive with everything .
the change of aspect about one matter can make a big difference to how you feel .

It is good to just smile and let nature take its course of action .
What meant to happen will happen .
What meant to be will be .
What one will become is their choice .

Whining will never help or so I've learnt .

If you tell lies too often and it becomes a habit .
If you are fake always, you'll never get a true friend .
If you stir shit up too often, karma will hit you back soon .
If you are negative always, you'll affect your surrounding .

So I rather to be honest, true, nice and POSITIVE .
I guess these are simple ways to be happy .


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

quickie updates!

About one week into the new job~
I'm currently still not assigned a proper job scope...
but if i am assigned one in the near future which i believe to be soon...
I hope i could do a great job and do my best with as minimal mistake made...

I would want my portfolio to be fast-learner, initiative and meticulous .
in hoping to really save enough $$ to pay back all my loans and also to be able to save up to study again .
this time would prefer to save a lum sum before pursuing into my studies again .

this time maybe instead of being greedy to get a double major .
i should leave it to studying my interest and passing the degree as easily as possible .

Aside from that a little rants about work...
Work has been boring... 
and sometimes a little annoying . 

Sway in some sense as i cut myself on the first week of work...
and the cut is rather deep that i fear my middle finger might look deform...

But still the most annoying thing....
is non other as the too free and nothing to do feel .
I was told to do cold calling but wasn't provided with a telephone .
but for the list i have email now... 

Annoyed people annoying me 

Friday, February 7, 2014

Blogging more often

I guess I will blog more often from now on . 

Cause I'm left with this platform to vent anger and still remain some parts of me . 

I'm trying to stay positive about stuffs but things just dun get better and it isn't my choice . 
Being a girl I will complain and whine about everything to the people around me . 
But I will tend to grumble and complain more to the ones I care and gives two shits about them . 
It's just a thing I do...
But seriously by saying I complain too much and you can't take it ? 

Like I can just dun tell u anymore and dun blame me if you are not updated with what is going on . 
Because everything I say will end up with a complain or a rant about my life ! 

I'm not happy neither am I contended to be working so there is nothing good to come out from this . 

Just cut my hand today and I'm feeling a huge tad of grumpiness ! 
Easily annoyed !! 



Tuesday, February 4, 2014

A sudden urge to blog

Hello... I'm back . 
Wahahaha !!! 
Okay lame but still I have no way to rant . 
So I'm back here telling you guys my troubles .(as usual) 

I guess it's just my experience and I'm pretty afraid of liars . 
And yes I'm meant literally... 
It might sound stupid...
But I have been lied to by too many people that I loved and also those whom I thought loved me .
But apparently they dun love me that much to not lie to me . 

So if you wann to say I have trust issues I'll just keep mum and admit to it . 
If what I know about you started off as a lie, then didn't I fell in love with a person that do not exist ?

And if your lies have been expose and I can't accept your answer.... 
A crack will then surface in my trust to you . 
So why are people risking all these and tell all these lies to the ones they say they love ? 

I feel hurt not because of the things that you lied about . 
It's the fact that you lied to me . 
And you find a need to have to do that . 
What I dun understand is what need is there for a person to lie to another ?