Tuesday, July 5, 2016

This fragile life

No one knows the meaning of living until you met death in your face.... 

It's the fear you have that allow you to hold hope... 
But don't let the fear of doing anything holds you back... 
If you never try you never know, at least you don't live your life regretting and thinking about smth you could have done

I wan to lead that kind of life, with no regrets...

But.... The fear... 
It overwhelms me... 
Move forward ba 


Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Late night posting ? No it's more like dawn

So I just done watching the drama episodes...

Feeling sensitive maybe pms ? 
I don't know... 

It's these late night that makes you wonder... 
How will things turn out if the path I chose was different 

Would I experience different things? 
Or will history repeats itself... 

I wish there was a way to turn back time... 
And I would like to change a few things... 

Like un-meet some people, undo some decision....
Cherish those that are no longer here more... 

I miss u my loved ones... 
When life is tough I think about you guys
Because that is where I find comfort in 

The feeling of a true home and the dearest position you hold in my heart


 

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Feeling grateful

For all that I have and all that I was given... 
I have always taken for granted 
Whenever shit happens I start thinking why does this keep happening to me... 

Now I get the answer, because it is part of the life experience I have to go through to build who I am... 
The choices I made the path that I take determine who I becomes and who I bring into my life... 

So when life poses a challenge to you accept with grace and find a way to resolve it... 

Knowing that people in third world country don't even have what I have and I keep complaining about shits.... 
This isn't right and I feel the best way to defeat life's shit... 

Is to appreciate and be positive... 
Even if it's upsetting, try to look at it from a different angle... 
And I am sure it will become better 

Just like my determination to slim down 
With the hard work and believed that I can do it.... 
I will and I am achieving it 

Friday, June 17, 2016

Slimming down finally ?

I have started working out like 2 weeks back and fell sick after 1 week..

Stop for a week and going to start back again... 

But guessed what I weigh myself and I am down by 2kg...
I need to keep this up like seriously ! 

I can do it... I know I can and I will.. 


Sunday, June 12, 2016

I need to SLIM DOWN

It is no longer something I should procrastinate and not hold determination on... 

This fat ass needs to slim back down ! 
I don't ask for much... 
I don't want to be as skinny as a model or anything....

I just want to look good in the clothes I like and wan to put on myself... 

But I am sick and cannot continue it.... 
I really need to do it and persist on 

Cannot procrastinate....
Cannot give up.... 
Hold on and moving forward with persistent 


Monday, June 6, 2016

My life as it is

Work is stressful as usual but I would love to handle this stress well... 
I am glad hanging out with this "family" 
They are interesting people and they are the best to talk cock with

Driving for me is smooth~ hopefully will be able to get the license by my birthday... 
Working hard in every aspect cause i really want to accomplish bigger things in life... 

As for relationship, let's just leave it as it is... 
What ever will be will be... 
I have seen it through that the matters of the heart cannot be forced
If it's hurt give it time to heal alone and start afresh when heal 

So to all that is surviving whatever life throws at you.. 

Pull through the tough time and you will be able to appreciate it once it's over

 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Strangers to friends to stranger

Have been packed with work and more work... 

But there is so much more I am busy with even my personal life... 

To be frank, the phrase best friend...
I dk 
Never been a fan of it 
Cause even good friends can just turn their back on you in a blink of the eye. 

So how to offer out trust based on past experience.. 

I guess time will tell... 
People who left are meant to teach you a lesson of life.. 

and I really learnt a lot from those who left...
But also because of them I cherish what I have now 

They were once the important people in my life...
But some how they are just strangers now 

I am grateful for their existence...

For those that have stayed by me, I love you guys... 

For those who left, I wish you all the best and that life treat you well...

The past months has been enlightening...

Thursday, April 28, 2016

I appreciate black humor

I was wondering if this movie is considered black humor.
But it was boring at first but.... at ending part got me in awe.
like i appreciated it.

I laugh at points that people didnt.
In the cinema and even with my friends, they just think the movie was boring.
But i didnt think it was bad.

hmmm....
maybe i am sick in the mind too.

just in case you are wondering...
i am referring to the movie Mr.Right.
trailer attached. Enjoy!!


Sunday, April 24, 2016

Yet another week has gone by

Have been lazing at home these few weeks including the weekend...

Sleeping it off and spending it on quality me time. 
Hahaha 

P came to visit and is making me slept throughout ytd and today... 

What a waste of my resting weekend..
Or maybe just because I got a day off and my body knew that this is the time to rest as much as I can...

Since that I was going through insomnia for the past weeks 

So after the mask I have on now... 
I'll most probably turn in 
Catch up as much sleep as I can 

Monday, April 18, 2016

Confuse

How do you determine a feelings towards someone ? 
Do I like you or not ? 
I dk how to determine that

The slightest changes makes me feel uneasy 

I don't even know how you exactly felt about me.... 
What do you regard me as ? 

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Be the reason I smile

Lost the reason to be happy...
So many times I doubt myself if I can ever be happy, but people keep telling me to open up...

Every time I try opening up I always end up hurt... 
Yes there was moments of happiness...
But those are just temporary....

It's difficult to find that one uniquely blissful happiness that I deserve 

Just hope there is someone out there that will become the reason I smile in daze

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Rainy days

Finally~ after so long... 

The hot and sunny weather is gone... I hope ? 
Hahaha
But today rained so heavily... 
Cooling and soothing to sleep in... 
Didn't slept in myself 
But just lying in bed is definitely super comfortable...
With the scent of the candles filling up the room is just so comforting 

So how are people spending their rainy weekend ? 


Monday, April 4, 2016

Pay raise = more work

So i am feeling the stress at work right now 
more and more work to deal with
hope that i can handle it well

have been going meetings over meetings
brain cells dying plus work piling up.

clear as much and as fast as i can.
but sometimes the mind will just go blank.

hopefully the stress will cause me to have a massive drop in weight
read a article saying stress is a bad thing
half agree and experiencing the effects of it.



Thursday, March 31, 2016

Did I ever loved you?

I guess not... I thought I did
But as time pass, I realize I didn't love you....
You were just someone who could provide me a sense of securities and the reason why I didn't left you first when my ex wanted me back was because I felt guilt towards you. 

Cause you broke up with your gf so that we could be tgt . 

and I felt that I owe you that....
So I gave up the one I loved just to be with you....
Then you started your lies and cheats...
That was when I felt like the stability you provided me was shaking... 

Now to think back... 
I was heartbroken when you broke up with me... 
Cause I lost someone to rely and fall back on...
But it's okay now... 

Cause I don't feel anything towards you 

Cause I felt back the love that I never felt for you...

I feel sad that I have wasted 17 months with you... 
Could have done better with these time 

But what's past is past... 
Life will treat me better cause I deserve that 

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Once again history repeats

History repeats itself and I am back to square one... 

This time round things didn't went the way I thought it would...
So I guess one way or another it just telling me, everyone is different 

One man can give up old flames for new sweet hearts but some others are just faithful or too afraid to let go 

You taught me how to hate...
But I am learning on my own to love myself
Learning to cherish myself rather than waiting for someone to come and sweep me off my feet 

Crossing my fingers and all haters can bang wall and die 

LOL

Monday, January 18, 2016

Me and my mind

My mind is so occupied... 
With insecurities... 

I don't wish to be hurt again... 
I really don't wish too

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Trust.. What is that

What is trust exactly? 
To be gain ? To be taken granted for ? 
Who to give it to ? 

Giving trust is like giving them your heart and hoping they won't break it

But... Things are always fucked up